Tuesday, January 23, 2018

MY 2KOBO OPINION ON (NIGERIAN) LADIES PROPOSING TO A MAN

First of all, before you ever let yourself get carried away by ‘love’ and the modern trend of ‘women too should be able to propose’ you must first come to terms with the fact that we are Africans, and the current crop of eligible bachelors have not been weaned off patriarchy.
Our age grade grew up being fed with ‘be the man’ mantras and we are still patriarchal, even though we profess gender equality and liberalism on our lips. The honest truth is that the average Nigerian (young) man that is between the ages of 18 to 40 is still largely patriarchal to varying degrees.

Now, to the proposing itself, if you must do it:
  1. Be 101 % sure of the man’s quest in your garden – that what he wants from you is MARRIAGE, not just a relationship. Sadly bur true, many guys are just in for the sex and saying the sweet things to keep the window open. 
  2. Be 101 % sure that he is financially ready to marry you – even your attempt at marrying him with your money can cause a man to panic and feel emasculated 
  3. Be 101 % sure that he has let go of his extra baggage – the honest truth is that most guys have extra baggage which have different sizes of boobs and ass sizes/shapes. You may not be 1st choice. 
  4. Be 101% sure his family and your family are already in the know – don’t propose to a guy when your families are still in the dark about your secret doings. Biko! 


Now, even when you are sure of the above, there is still a need for insurance and this should come in the following ways:
  1. Location: please don’t do it in public. I mean, what do you gain with public displays? It just doesn’t cut it (for me). You can display your ring in public after he says yes in private 
  2. Preparation: Don’t shock him with the question. Even if he loved you, the sudden question can destabilize a man, especially where he is still asking the question of ‘to be or not to be’ about you. So trafficate before you enter his lane 
  3. Time: Please make it in the evening when the sun has gone down, so that even if people will record, at least your face will not show. LOL. 
Lastly may I ask this question: When a woman says ‘marry me’ to a man, is she saying indirectly that she will fund the marriage (as most guys would do) or is she expecting the guy to say ‘yes’ and then double up his hustle to get the wedding/marriage going? I need answers.

In conclusion, ladies, temper love with caution.

PS: IF YOU WANT TO PROPOSE TO ME, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SHITLOADS OF MONEY.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

TAKE CHRIST OR BE DAMNED?

If, as a (Christian) preacher, the crux of your evangelism is condemnation and damnation – ‘accept my Christ or be doomed to hell', then you have failed already.
I say this because the message of Christ was never about compulsion. He never focused on the sin; he never threatened his listeners with hell. Rather, he told them what he had to offer: 
“I am the way the truth and the life", "in my father's house there are many mansions", "and, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work" and, even, to the adulterer 'caught in the act' "neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more"...
So Jesus Christ himself focused on preaching the good life with him and what it offers, not to point out the bad life people were living and much damnation they will suffer. So why won’t our preachers focus on telling of what is to be gained in Christ rather than spread fear and tell people they are damned and doomed?  
It is like someone in a car telling a pedestrian at the bus-stop that: "come into my car or a trailer will come and kill you where you stand" instead of saying "come into my car and rest, there's AC and I have snacks.”
In these two scenarios, which is better? Hellooo, every adult in this world knows the concept of sin and the supposed consequences of it. So why have these ‘sinners’ not converted out of fear? It is simply because the era of embracing religion out of fear ended with the illiterate Africans who were exploited by missionaries who served as vanguards of colonial exploiters.

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ADVICE:
When next in a preaching situation, don’t raise your voice, don’t condemn, don’t criticize, don’t scare, don’t damn, just tell of the love of Christ and what anyone stands to gain, what you have gained, what you hope to gain, not just in heaven, but also here on earth, from being with Christ. Nothing more is needed.
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QUESTION TO PONDER:
Why did Jesus Christ not condemn all the many religions that existed in his time? Why is it that, in contrast, the very first thing we do as Christians is to set others apart from us and label them damned souls?
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ASSIGNMENT:
Read the RED LETTER edition of the new testament, that is, focus on the statements of Jesus Christ alone, just his direct attributed quotes and see what it tells you about the current face of Christianity and the fact there are, increasingly, more churchgoers than Christians.
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Read: Matthew 25:31–46
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PS: Christianity (religion) is not the problem. The Christians (and religious adherents) are the real problems. Are you truly living the true concept of your religion? Ask yourself.
...

Selah!

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Saturday, January 28, 2017

ROTATING SEED FUND – LETS BUILD A NEW GENERATION OF ENTREPRENEURS

We all say Nigeria is bad. We all complain about unemployment. We all blame everyone in sight but ourselves for what is wrong with the economy. We all want it to get better. That is true.
Now, Nigeria is bad and the economy is bad and unemployment is on the rise. We all know that only too well. But how many of us are willing or have attempted to add a little drop of water to the communal bowl from which we can resurrect Nigeria’s vegetable garden?
It is rather unfortunate that we are quick to complain and blame-throw than look inwards and contribute that little quota. Yet we all want things to get better. How will things get better? Who will do it if now other humans, Nigerians, like us? If you and I don’t put in one one kobo, how will we get the billions we need to get back on track?

Today I propose a new direction, a new option, a new dawn – one of hope and change, not the change that will stifle us, but the change that will benefit us all, directly and indirectly.
This morning I made a post on my wall about giving out a loan of N50,000 without interest to be paid back in 90 days, asking for viable business ideas. Frankly speaking, I was surprised by the sheer number of viable businesses and willing youths who want under N50,000 loans to get on their feet.
It is impossible for me as an individual to support more than one (or two) of these people. But, together, we could give hope to at least 10 (or more) of them. I am quite sure that N50,000 is within the reach of many of my friends here. You can invest that sum into someone’s life today and thereby save someone’s future.
To this end, I implore my wiling friends to take a look at the business ideas in this URL (click ) and pick one person to mentor and support towards the actualization of the proposed business. It doesn’t even have to be up to N50,000. Some of the ideas need less than that sum (and some may need more eventually).
We can start a very great thing here – a ROTATING SEED FUND (interest free) – that will last through the years and build a new generation of entrepreneurs who must take the pledge of devoting a portion of their profits (for 1 year) to helping other entrepreneurs get started.
Please if you are interested, inbox me or call me on 08060109295 and we will pair you with one person.
Time for rhetoric is over. We can do this.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

WHY WORKING (FREE) FOR EXPERIENCE IS GOOD: A NOTE FOR UNEMPLOYED GRADUATES

I don’t understand why people become so shocked when I tell them to offer their skills and time for free before they get someone to pay for those skills. To them, it is a most stupid thing. They would rather wait (for eternity) until a paying job comes, rather than do anything for free. But these people rush into internship offers from dubious companies who use them and spit them out to accommodate another set of ‘interns’.
But it really is not. Offering your skills and time for free is actually not a bad thing. It pays well in the long run. In fact, it is a good move for young graduates (and any person) that intends to build a lasting career and stand out, especially those without a job.
While you are looking for a job, staying in shape is very important. Take for example a footballer who is out of the academy without a team. Should he go home to the village and tell his agent to go looking for a team while lazing around, or should he keep going to the gym, training (and playing for FREE) with local teams?

If he stays at home, chances are that he will go rusty and when an offer comes, he will be too rusty to pass the test. If he has been keeping fit, two things may happen: he will be fit when the chance comes and/or he will get an offer, right there where he is working for free.
You have a lot to gain working for free, for experience, to hone your skills.That skill you gain on the free job may be what will stand you out from other applicants, probably with better grades than you are presenting.
Personally, I have made a habit of offering my services, FREE where necessary, especially to those who need it the most because they are the ones that will let me explore and learn.
I wasn’t being paid (much) but I was learning. It reflected in my grades and in my final year project. I finished my final year project six months before schedule and my supervisor made me a ‘mini-supervisor’ of sorts to some of my course mates.
It was at that point that I started my first blog. That blog is the foundation of the Facebook page that has now become my fast growing publishing company WORDS RHYMES & RHYTHM.
For one, your CV will thank you for it. Imagine being unemployed for two years and then you go for an interview and the interviewer asked you what you’ve been doing since you graduated two years ago. What would your response be?

I am a living example of this. When I got my second job at Daily Trust, someone who was a year lower than me in the university and who graduated with a less impressive result than mine (I was the 2nd best graduating student) was placed higher than me on the pay grade, despite the fact that I had worked for some months in Port Harcourt and he had just finished NYSC. Why? Simple: he had written some articles for the newspaper, free of charge, right from when he was an undergraduate. You see? Just a few articles and he skips over my head.

Secondly, the place where you are working for free may end up becoming the place where you will be working for pay, hiring other. Or, better still, you might learn so much and become so useful that someone will poach you from there. An example of the first is my colleague at my first place of work. She came in as a cleaner and decided to be helping out in the accounts section. She soon became a master at Microsoft Excel and was noticed. Then the boss employed her as an office assistant. She was encouraged to write WAEC and JAMB. She did and in a few years got a degree, and then a Masters Degree followed. Now, she is superior to some of the folks whose offices she used to clean some 10 years back. Would she have gotten in if she had refused to help, for FREE, in the accounts section? I think she might have had a stellar career as a cleaner.

I will talk about three instances on my professional career.

When I was an undergraduate at the Ahmadu Bello University, I offered my services to a lecturer as a research assistant. I would scour hundreds of books and web pages on his behalf for hours on end. It was rigorous.
I still make some money from researching, especially content analysis. My research skills have helped me in every single place I have worked since then.
The second instance is during my NYSC in Anambra state. I created a volunteer team of teachers to boost the English speaking and writing ability of students in the senior classes at the Nnamdi Azikwe Senior Secondary School Abagana where I was posted. It was there that I was scouted (by the principal) to teach English and Literature at the African Thinkers College of Inquiry (ATCOI), an institution affiliated with the Nnamdi Azikwe University, Awka. I was paid a weekly wage there. It is no wonder that I left NYSC with nearly NGN100,000 while my colleagues borrowed transport fares to return home.


I also remember that, on returning home from NYSC and finding no job, I visited one small internet café in Maraba a lot. I spent a large part of my NYSC savings surfing the web for jobs and scholarships. Soon, I was close pals with the owner of the café, because I spent a lot of time there. I offered him my typing services since I had nothing to do with my free time. I was faster than he was (another skills gained working as my lecturer’s research assistant) so he obliged. He rewarded me by allowing me to use internet free, provided there was no customer.
Can you see now how offering your services (and time) without pay is actually not offering it out for FREE. Volunteering for a cause, helping out at hospitals etc are not only skill-building opportunities but also good for networking.
Above all, using your skills to make someone happy gives a good feeling. I love it. You will love it too. Just give it a try, today.

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